i reckon i’d be able to give myself a stick and poke tattoo. i have the hands for it. 

i wish i was fucking obese i can’t handle it anymore  

if ‘george’ decides to visit me before laura comes home i will literally drown myself in the toilet bowl 

don’t pick the scabs or you will never heal 

Rick: You will be hearing from my solicitors in the morning. I’m going to write to my MP.

Neil: You haven’t got an MP, Rick. You’re an anarchist.

Rick: Oh. Well, then I shall write to the lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen!